Before I ramble on about Part Two, I’d like to announce that Janice H. is the winner of the Punk Is Dead DVD! We really liked her question about the Cabazon speaker dive and whether Aaron scopes out his landings prior to takeoff. Congrats!
There was never supposed to be a Part Two. We had 10 questions, and that was going to be it. This is what happens when the admin has a couple of glasses of wine, the mods take advantage of the situation … and a document with the words “INTERROGATORIES” and “NORTH SIDE v. AARON WRIGHT NORTH” gets passed along. Good times. Sorry if your question got bastardized; it had to be done to fit the mood. I’ll turn the doc into a PDF so y’all can see, but in the meantime … enjoy Part Two!
Identify in order the individuals in this drawing by Anne Tai:
Dude… I’m not that much shorter than Jeordie!
Identify why you are looking at Jeordie in that manner in the drawing above:
He probably just farted… again.
Describe in detail the substance and manufacturer of any eye liner you wore on the Winter & Spring NIN tours.
Trade secrets my friends. I could tell you, but then I’d have to blow you.
State whether you expected that in addition to the Guitar Contract, you would have to play a keyboard at some point during your on stage antics?
No… definitely not. Keyboards are for sissies anyway… and weirdo foreigner dudes with names I can never spell right and wayyyyyyy too many Radiohead bootlegs.
Identify specifically what reaction you would employ if some dude, such as Kevin Federline, approached you to tell you he was a fan.
Dude, me and Kevin go wayyyyy back already. Tight bro’s from way back when. You may or may not already know, but indeed I co-wrote the smash hit “Popozao”.
Identify who farts the most in the current NIN band line up.
Jeordie “Hard Reset”/“Crab Legs” White
Identify and describe the facts upon which you base your answer to Interrogatory 15.
Identify the date, name, and any witnesses thereto of person getting their crotch grabbed in the image on Buddyhead.com.
Ahhhh… that’s the bass player of Wires On Fire, Mike… having his crotch grabbed by the singer of the Mean Reds. Good times.
Explain and describe in detail what songs you would put on a 80MB mix CD.
What’s an 80MB cd? What’s a dickfore?
Identify by stating your reasoning which portrays the NIN more accurately: Diaboli’s Clay NINs or Anne Tai’s NIN Comics.
Hmmmmm… definitely Anne’s comics. Except there would be a lot more farting, and Trent is always mysteriously absent… probably cos he’s in the other room intensely playing video games a la real life? Who knows.
Describe how you arrived at inflicting the amount of damages that you have inflicted on guitars, stages, stage equipment, and yourself.
Cos it’s fun to fuck shit up.
Identify if you enjoy bananas as much as The Brahhood imagines you do.
I do actually. The potassium provided is good for when yer on the road for extended periods of time, and not eating proper meals regularly… just pralines, and dick.
Describe in detail, each and every fact you rely upon to support your denial or affirmation to Interrogatory 14.
Describe in detail, how long your left and right hands are respectively; including finger length and palm length in the calculation (show your math).
Ahhhhh… pretty long. I haven’t met too many people with hands and fingers bigger than mine… except for maybe Brian from Eagles Of Death Metal. It forces me to play guitar in a weird way… bringing my thumb over on top of the strings to mute unplayed strings or even hold notes down. It also makes it possible to run around like a monkey on stage, and swing the axe around a bunch, cos my huge monkey paws can wrap around the guitar neck, and I can still hold the right chords and flop around a bunch while still playing the songs, and the guitar won’t get away from me. Plus, I can get those really hard to reach boogies.
State whether you practice for your moves on stage.
Hahahahahaha. No. “But it’d be a lot cooler if I did.”
And … we’re out.